Yeah...

Again I know on the same day but I have so many things on my mind. Like my head hurts so badly right now and my voice is killing me. 1. I sniffed up this influenza stuff at the lovely doctors office the other day and then on saturday I went on a hayride with friends and the tractor broke down; they live in the mountains and its really cold outside. So here I am everyone (so I am also) is walking so fast trudging up this hill and Im breathing in this air and it just killed my vocal chords.

And like so Im super stressed out. I was gone all weekend and I have big family (8-people) and I wash the dishes for everyone (the oh so happy dishwasher) and so here I was gone all weekend and Monday night have tons of dishes. My head isnt thinking clearly and I just am so stressed out. The situation was out of my control and I just got more upset about it. But I am starting realize that I just need calm down....I dont know what to do but eventually Ill getthrough this.

Then like I am a high school student and all of a sudden I think to myself and Im like "I have aims this week". Starting tomorrow, so now Im like what do I do? I have this ginormous headache; migrane and then its 11:00 at night Im ill I have tons of dishes that my dad is getting on me about and I have aims tomorrow. Its like when does this end?!

I have decided that this definately out of my control and I need to give it up to God. So I made a comrpromise with my mom, I will do some of the dishes tonight before I go to bed, I'll sleep in tomorrow (illness) and throughout the day do the rest of the dishes....Like Ill probably do more make-up work for my school as well (did I mention Im behind and I finals this week? I am also in an advanced course...twice as much classes) and then like when I wake up Ill do some dishes and call my gma and see if she can help me out with driving me to my aims.....and thennnn well Ill not go to my praise team call my church and arange it for next week.

Like see Im so stuck, I am trying to get of my house which is in the middle of nowhere and Im trying to be more social with friends. But when your in an advanced online course and your behind as well as sick it doesnt work all that well.....

Now finally it sucks, because one of my old friends is having problems with his life and he needs a friend and  its like I want to help him but Im not there enough....he needs me and he feels like no one cares and like my heart burdens so much for him and he doesnt even know. So I think its a good idea if I pray for him tonight and then just start chatting with him and then see where it goes.

So many problems and life is so short...You know what kinda sucks but is kinda humorous at the same time? Every time I react badly ro something or I get so tense that I lash out on somebody I get more mad because I sinned and then sin again, and then because I got mad i get more mad and its like dominos and like all these exlposions happening because of the one right behind it its like a loong line of tag....man its like ah! But hey I guess its all part of learning.