Ouch ow?

So my back hurts and I have no idea why...haha I have been working tooooo hard.. on a break? Yeah uh huh =P

Anyway so whats new on the front and new on the heart? Well on the front not much has been progressing although for the heart..oh yeah so much has been going on.

SO this break has given me time to think. I have thought about the essense of observation and the key of wisdom. I think that I just need to focus on the details..focus on  the little things, not so much the common things. I need to ask why instead of what and when instead of how. After all life is so complicated why not figure out my path? And you know I have been really wondering why I want to escape reality, because really that is one of the common thoughts in my head the concept of reality. I mean I dont know why...which got me thinking, its not what do I want to be; real or fantasy? Its why should I choose? I think IM gonna try to see what really the concept of reality is..I always thought to myself "I dont want to be told 'you need to get out of the fantasy and face reality'" I dont want to be naive...but really maybe I do. On the other hand I dont wan tt ofind out too much because then really am I naive any longer?..I have two questions concering the pacticular subject.

one, do I really want to face reality? what if I can and want live in a fantasy, who is to say that is wrong or right maybe it is just matter of opinion.

And two, who is really off in the statement of facing reality? the acuser or the victem? Maybe the victem is just insane, maybe not? or maybe the acuser is just a negetive sour patch and sees things so narrowly.

All in all maybe I dont want to live in reality maybe I do. But the real question is, what is the concept of reality? What is reality? IS it knowledge of authority? who is over you what the job of the authority is and so forth, knowing the authority status quo. Maybe reality is knowing restrictions and bundaries. Or maybe a fantasy thinking is dreaming of impossible things, not wanting to embrace the pain in life. Either or I may  think a fantasy life sounds good. Im going to find out this difference.

What would be funny ad ironic would be the obvious answer to this scavenger hunt. It could be that everyone has this misconception that everyone had a common agreement on the term reality when in "reality" the ideal answer is just another opinon. So maybe in this cas I am just looking for opinions. Again either or I still want to see what others think about of reality and what it means. after all I may be to "naive" and fanatical to know.

But hey, we'll just have to wait and see.