Fear

So it has been decided and settled after my course at primavera I am going to the Kingman High School. To be honest I am doing it for play and instead of homeschooling I am doing it for a fight for the gain of strength and wisdom. And to be honest, I am scared to death. Like last time....

I dont know why. Last year every time I showed up at the high school campus in the morning I had this huge fear. I am not sure what that fear was. Maybe I am fearing the school's halls people teachers students activities. I am not quite sure. What came to mind was the fear of this school its like its the devil's playground. The devil roams freely its so obvious the school is being brought down farther and farther. Every new cuss word every other drug. Every secret thing done under the eyes. Every rule broken. Every cheat on a test. AEvery lack of effort. The devil posses the hallways and the classrooms. The devil takes hold of the students minds words and uses them as tools to discourage others around them. And the teachers he persuades to have them uncaring uncareful not worrying or caring about anything except the payroll and vengence agaisnt these nasty children. "".

Its almost like I am afraid this school and therefore this school's real master, the devil in this case and the evil, is bigger than God and His angels. The school's inquires make Him outt to be a fool and out to be someone weak. They make him out to be a whimp and less than nothing, He is everything. How do I fight this battle? How do I fight these forces of evil? How do I do this? I gotta get some strength. I have gotta stand with otehr Christians. I gotta go into this fighting the devil and fighting these forces.

These forces are skillful they are strong. They are decietful and devious. The devcieve the pathways they decieve every activity. They make it look liek to the strong that nothing can be saved. That there is no hope. Like there is no hope alive. Its almost true..there is no hope. There are alduts that  pray and two teachers that stay strong, what about a student? Maybe there is a hope but its been beaten and it quenches for a thirst of the living water.


How does this hope come? From God. He will not fail those standing up against these powers. I will stand. I have hope. I know my God is bigger, I am decieved if I think the light cannot overpower this darkness. Light can. God does have rule over His creation it has just been stripped of its glory by these evil ones. I will fight this darkness with every strength I have in me, and I will figh for and in Christ. I can do this. I am scared to death but I know that I can do all thinsg through Christ. No evil can hold me back. I will show the devil true rebellion and He will throw His flames but Gods truth is as livin gas ever. I know with this hope and courage it will be prevaield.

I need someone to stand with me.  A threesome. I can do this. Encouragement. This darkness looks so big but has one weakness and I ahve that weapon. They have power yes but compared and put up against God, they will run away. I just need to start this leadership. I must pray for hope and for me to be less and less decieved every day.

Pray pray pray. That is what I need. I am shaking physically but spriritually I am firm. I need to pray for this firmeness to be clapsed. I need even more strength.

With one light the darkenss fleas. I will be Gods tool.