change

I am not sure if I really want to change or how to change. But I think I am going to try something. I am going to try to be stronger and let my fiestyness be evident again. I want to see what happens. Get back in the center of attention.

Im not really sure if its wrong. I am not really sure if its right. Im thinking there can be a balance between the ms. perfection I have been trying to be and the rebelious temptation that I was. So I am necessarily trying to be me again. I really dont know how I am going to do this. Right now I am trying to give me no boundaries just trying to figure it out.

We will have to see how it turns out, All I know is I want to be stronger. I dont want to let people walk over me. I want to be fiesty. I want to be nice. I want to be a Christian. I want to be confident.

Seriously I am not sure how it is going to turn out but you know maybe there will be a balance. I am trying to look into the future if I found this balance. It would make sense on how being christ-like would be hard because then it would be real.

So I guess I am trying to be real. I dont like eveything about my old self but I do like some things. I want to see if I can blend the two. Either way this adventurous destination ends up the one thing I do not want and will not do is let go of Christ and live in and of the world. Christ is real. I just want to see where this goes. If its contridiction, if its sin, if its real. I want to find out. And I am not afraid to go onto this road.