Hm

Alright so I have been thinking what is going on in my life. I want to be living in a bigger life than just like the basics. I want to live for something greater. Maybe challenge by challenge. I am not sure I think that is one thing I need to figure out. Something I need to succeed at obtaining. I think once I have that key I will know what exactly I want to do. Because right now I dont. Today I live from day to day. From one thing I need to do to the next. From responsibility to responsibility. I want it to be more. I think that is my hault in the road. I dont think conforming to a group or to anything besides God is what I want.

Maybe I want to give, like to people in anotehr country that die every day of starvation or help elderly people and make  sure they know thet are loved. Maybe I want to learn, know the little things in life as a matter-of-fact or try to understand just things that are difficult and that many people dont get. Maybe I want to live to die, confess my faith in another region where it is illegal or live my life here where everyone thinks I am weird.... Or I dont know. I really dont know what I want to do next. This is all part of life of cours. First knowing who you are then knowing what you want to do with your life. Well obviously we have this life to live learn and experience. So I will do just that. But right now I know that I am not lving to my full potential.

I know there is so much more out there. So much more for me to accomplish, for me to fail at. So much more things that I can desire I can run after and there is life I know it. I feel alive in learning something of value. I feel alive when I on the brink of finishing a challenge. Its something for me to live for.

See something I have figured out is I will die someday, I will leave this earth. It may be tomorrow it may be a hundred years. The only things that I should worry about are in this day today. I dont know what may happen the next minute. So be content and live in hope for what challenges are to come, if death is next well isnt that a challenge?

I dont know what might approach all I know is that my hope is building and my deteremination is burning. In my heart every new day more energy and strength and maybe even courage is being built. I feel like I am ready to go into the battle of any challenge. I want it, and I want it badly. I just need to wait upon the Lord and He is soverign, He will fullfill this urge.

I just need to breathe, wait anf hope, and look for those answers that I am seeking. What do I want to do with this time that I get everyday beyond the average life that the world tries to sell me. No matter how hard the world tries to dampen the fire that burns inside of a human being to fight and be challenged to go on our adventures, God has put this desire in each one of us and I am not willing to back down or allow this world and its burdens bear me down.